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Peter Rogers's Blog
Artist-in-Residence at Chez Firth

Friday (3/20/09) 9:18pm - ... wherein Peter writes a sketch for Friday Sketch War.

This week's Friday Sketch War theme is "SNL Characters, Past and Present":


               Sketch War
               SNL Characters Past and Present Edition
               "Happy Fun Ba'al"

               FADE IN:



               INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

               An ordinary suburban living room.

               A medium-sized box sits on the table.

               JAMES (6) laughs offscreen.

               HAROLD (late 20s) enters.

                                   HAROLD
                         Just one second, James!

               ANNE (late 20s) joins him.

                                   ANNE
                         That just arrived from ebay.

                                   HAROLD
                         It's here!

               Harold opens the box up to reveal --

                                   ANNE
                         A Happy Fun Ball?

                                   HAROLD
                         Don't you remember?  Back in '91,
                         every kid had one of these!

               Harold gets it loose from the packaging and plays with it.

                                   ANNE
                         You are not letting our son play
                         with that.

                                   HAROLD
                         It's fun!

                                   ANNE
                         It caused cancer.

                                   HAROLD
                         Sure, in rats, but --

               Anne fishes an instruction manual out of the packaging and
               flips through it.

                                   ANNE
                         Wasn't this the ball that could get
                         lodged in your head?

                                   HAROLD
                         Only if you dropped it off a
                         building or something!

               Anne reads from the manual --

                                   ANNE
                         "If using Happy Fun Ball for
                         extended periods, a bell may sound,
                         signaling the aperture of a portal
                         to a Hell dimension."  How do I
                         look Reverend Jeffries in the eye
                         if James does that?

                                   HAROLD
                         They probably just made that up.

                                   ANNE
                         It's an "explosion risk?"

                                   HAROLD
                         I'll tell James it's very important
                         not to set Happy Fun Ball on fire.

                                   ANNE
                         I won't endanger our son just
                         because all the kids had this when
                         we were growing up.

                                   HAROLD
                         But... I never got to have one.

               Puppy eyes.  Anne melts.

                                   ANNE
                         Oh no!

                                   HAROLD
                         Look, James is a careful kid. 
                         He'll be okay.

                                   ANNE
                         All right, but if anything goes
                         wrong --

                                   HAROLD
                         -- I'll take care of it.  Hey
                         James!

               He throws the ball offscreen.

                                   JAMES (O.S.)
                         Wow!  This is great!

               A BELL SOUNDS.

               The room darkens.

               Wind and lightning fill the room.

               A DEEP GROWL is heard.

                                   JAMES (O.S.)
                         Aaah, it's eating my soul!

                                   ANNE
                         Harold?

                                   HAROLD
                         Got it.

               He exits.



               STILL FRAME

               The old promo image of Happy Fun Ball.

                                   NARRATOR (V.O.)
                         Happy Fun Ball!  It's fun in any
                         dimension!

               More GROWLING.

                                                         FADE TO BLACK.



(I've cross-posted this to the Sketchwar site.)

Tags: , ,
Mood: [mood icon] only mildly amused · Music: none
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Comments:

[User Picture]
From:shadyglenn
Date:Saturday (3/21/09) 6:54pm
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Hee. Happy Fun Ball was always one of my favourite SNL commercials.
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[User Picture]
From:hujhax
Date:Saturday (3/21/09) 7:00pm
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~ thanks! ~
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