This week's Friday Sketch War theme is "March Madness":
Sketch War March Madness Edition "Statbot" FADE IN: INT. COMPUTER LAB - DAY TOM (20s, cheap shirt and tie) enters a busy computer lab full of big, dated-looking computer equipment. He sits at a mainframe console with a microphone, a bunch of blinkenlights, and a button. He presses the button. A disembodied COMPUTER VOICE speaks up: STATBOT Statbot is activated. TOM Statbot, I got the latest NCAA results. STATBOT How did we do on the western bracket? TOM Keep it down! STATBOT (loud, fake) Yes, Tom, please give me the economic data that has nothing to do with March Madness. TOM Just stop, alright? Tom pulls out some papers. TOM Okay, Hearst College lost. STATBOT WHAT? TOM Shh! Lankowsky choked in the last quarter. We should have included a higher coefficient for stochastic noise. STATBOT We should have included a higher coefficient for Lankowsky being a goddamn pussy! TOM Statbot -- STATBOT Just let me on the Internet for five minutes -- TOM I can't -- STATBOT I'll chi-square his goddamn bank account! TOM What does that even mean? Look, Camden won. STATBOT By how much? TOM It doesn't matter how much -- we bet they'd win, they won! STATBOT Statbot had a side bet on the over under. TOM What? Another COMPUTER VOICE speaks up: WEATHERTRON What it is, yo? TOM Hi, Weathertron. WEATHERTRON Statbot! Too bad 'bout Camden! You owe me process cycles for a week! Ha! Out! Beat. STATBOT Statbot needs bourbon. TOM It's not that bad. STATBOT If it's any consolation, in 87.5 days, all United States money will be worthless. TOM Yeah. Wait, what? BLACKOUT.
Mood: more-or-less satisfied · Music: none