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Peter Rogers's Blog
Artist-in-Residence at Chez Firth

Tuesday (4/7/09) 2:56pm - ... wherein Peter plays the shag/marry/throw meme.

Time for another LJ meme:


First, the instructions:

1. Comment to this and I will give you 3 people.

2. Post this meme with your answers.

3. Provide pictures and the names of the 3 people I gave you.

4. Label which you would marry, which you would shag, and which you would throw off a cliff.



I ganked this meme from Ms. wanderlust_atx, who provided three characters:  Kaylee Frye, Buffy Summers, and Kim Kelly.[1]

Believe it or not, this one was pretty easy to sort out.  Apologies for the brief explanations.

_______
[1] Yes, Kim Kelly is a high-school student.  I assume we can sidestep the squicky age issue for purposes of the meme.




Marry:  Kaylee Frye

I mean, that's obvious, right?

If nothing else, she would win by default by having nowhere near the crazy issues the other two have.  And from a practical standpoint, I would do well to have someone of a sunny disposition in my life.  The lack of shared interests might be problematic in the long run (my attitude towards fixing mechanical things = appreciative, but incomprehending), but that's a manageable issue.  Come what may, Kaylee is the woman you wake up next to in the morning and think, "Win."

Throw:  Kim Kelly

I feel bad about this, as Freaks and Geeks is my favorite show, bar none.  But honestly, I always found Kim Kelly to be a kind of annoying character, and it always seemed like beneath the combative exterior there was a lot of neediness and self-loathing.  None of this should preclude her from the 'shag' choice, I guess, but it certainly kicks her out of contention for 'marry'.

But then, I never found Ms. Kelly that attractive to begin with, so the whole thing's kind of lose-lose.
Shag:  Buffy Summers
... and that leaves Ms. Summers winning 'shag' almost by default.  This is ironic, because it seems to me like someone like her and someone like me would be platonic friends, with both of us dead certain that any kind of relationship would be a disaster.  I'm the sort of sheepish milquetoast that doesn't appeal to a take-charge type like her, and I eventually rankle at being told what to do, anyway.

That said, long-term incompatibilities needn't ruin a night of torrid whatevering.  The lady is very attractive, and our crazy height difference wouldn't be an insuperable mechanical problem.  (What?)  We meet, we have a great night together, we go home happy.  And that's what it's all about, right?


(Comment if you would like to play, and feel free to throw more characters my way.)

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Mood: [mood icon] contemplative · Music: none
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From:hangingfire
Date:Tuesday (4/7/09) 2:22pm
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River Tam, Zoe Washburn, Inara Serra.
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From:hujhax
Date:Tuesday (4/7/09) 3:13pm

River Tam, Zoe Washburn, Inara Serra

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Well, that's an interesting one.

First, I'd have to chuck Ms. Tam.  I'm sorry, but 'crazy' is a deal-breaker for 'marry' and River's proclivity for accidental killing sprees is a deal-breaker for 'shag'.  Frankly, both the mind-reading and the schizophrenia-like symptoms make either prospect feel pretty squicky -- in spite of the current hotness of the actress who played River.

This leaves us with Ms. Serra and Ms. Washburn.  My first instinct is to choose Ms. Serra for 'shag,' but then that leaves me marrying Ms. Washburn, and I just don't think that would work out; our personalities clash, and I never was physically attracted to Zoë.

So, I choose Ms. Serra for 'marry', with reservations.  I think I'd always feel awkward about my wife's Companion background (and come to think of it, if marrying me took her away from her work, I'd feel guilty about that, too), but that would be my problem, not hers, and I'd just deal.  For a woman with that character's wit, beauty, and skill, one would make the necessary mental accommodations.

And that leaves Ms. Washburn in the 'shag' category by default.  It might not be my cup of tea, but it would get the other two choices to work out.
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From:destroyerj
Date:Tuesday (4/7/09) 2:22pm
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I dunno if I'll take the time to fill out an LJ entry with this, but it seems fun. Hit me.
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From:hujhax
Date:Tuesday (4/7/09) 4:02pm
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Any TV shows/films I can choose from here?  I'm not entirely sure what you'd be familiar with....
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From:destroyerj
Date:Tuesday (4/7/09) 4:11pm
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Shows I watch or have watched closely include: House M.D., Heroes, 24, The West Wing, Arrested Development, Battlestar Galactica (RDM), Firefly, Scrubs, Saved by the Bell, Dawson's Creek, and I'm sure lots of other trash from the past...

In terms of movies, I don't know what kind of list would make sense for me to try to put here, but you've probably gotta stick fairly mainstream.
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From:hujhax
Date:Tuesday (4/7/09) 10:27pm
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Okay then, let's try this:  Elliot Reid, Daphne Millbrook, and Chloe O'Brian.
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From:wanderlust_atx
Date:Tuesday (4/7/09) 2:36pm
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Here were the 'real live people' I thought about giving you if you want to take a shot at them: Felicia Day, Anna Faris, Lindsay Lohan.
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From:hujhax
Date:Tuesday (4/7/09) 3:35pm

Felicia Day, Anna Faris, Lindsay Lohan

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Hmm.

Well, first off, I would chuck La Lohan -- which is actually kind of sad.  I'm often attracted to the characters Ms. Lohan plays (see also:  A Prairie Home Companion), so she may well be a sensible choice for 'shag.'  But if that happened, then I'd walk around the next day thinking, "I just had sex with a celebrity train wreck."  And while I know I shouldn't care what other people think, it would make me feel sad and ashamed.

So, off to the 'throw' category with her.

On a more positive note, this leaves me with fairly dilemma-free choices for the last two.

It may surprise people to know that I'd choose to marry Ms. Faris.  To this day I have no idea what happened in the original Scary Movie because I was too busy swooning over the lead actress.  I think there was comedy somewhere in that movie, but if it wasn't happening in Ms. Faris's eyes, I probably wasn't watching it.  She's hilarious, even (I am told) elevating wretched dreck like The House Bunny, and she's trying damn hard (however quixotically) to do good work in good comedies.

By my reckoning, that leaves me shagging Ms. Day.  I realize that choosing *anything* over "marry Felicia Day and love her forever" is something like blasphemy in geek circles, and my choosing to love her and leave her might have the more protective geeks reaching for their phasers.

In my defense, I'm sure there are very few women who edge out Ms. Day in the 'marry' category -- it just so happens that Anna Faris is one of them.
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From:innocentsmith
Date:Tuesday (4/7/09) 3:41pm
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The in-over-one's-head girls: Veronica Mars, Kara Thrace, Fiona Glenanne.
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From:hujhax
Date:Tuesday (4/7/09) 4:01pm

Veronica Mars, Kara Thrace, Fiona Glenanne

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First off:  I am so dead.  Any way I choose with this one, things don't end happily for me.

Okay, now that we've skipped past denial, anger, bargaining, and depression, we'll assess our choices for shag, marry, and throw.

I would marry Ms. Mars.  Fortunately, two factors work in tandem here:  she'd be the most fun to spend time with, and, by my reckoning, she's actually the least likely of the three to kill me.  She does have a harrowing past, but handles it with more grace and less angst than most TV characters I can think of, which bodes well for dealing with the vagaries of marriage.

Moving on to Ms. Thrace:  odd thing about her.  You know how there's a part of your brain that switches on when you see somebody you met a few years back, and sort of buzzes until you remember, "Oh, right, it's so-and-so from that-one-place."  Whenever I watch scenes with Starbuck, that part of my brain switches on and never switches back off.  ("Oh, right, that's... that's a TV character, and someone I've never met before.  Can we turn off the 'recognition' neurons now?")

Yet I never found Starbuck attractive.  This is just weird, because I'd see the actress who played Starbuck (in interviews and such) and be all swoony over her.  (Same sort of thing [inverted] with Wonderfalls.  Jaye Tyler:  hot as all get-out; Caroline Dhavernas:  attractive, but not overwhelmingly so.)  Also, I sense that a shag with Ms. Thrace would enmesh me in some painful love-polygon that I would spend a long time trying to extricate myself from.

So:  we chuck Ms. Thrace, and that leaves Ms. Glenanne for the shag.  I trust that it would be fun, and that whatever damage she did, modern medical science could repair.
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From:britbrizat
Date:Tuesday (4/7/09) 4:01pm
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Hmmm...

How about Marie Antoinette, Queen Elizabeth, and... Cleopatra?
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From:innocentsmith
Date:Tuesday (4/7/09) 4:06pm
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Ah, but which Queen Elizabeth?

(*commented mainly to use this icon, yes*)
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From:britbrizat
Date:Tuesday (4/7/09) 4:07pm
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Yes, that one. Let's go with the virgin queen to make it even more interesting. ;)
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From:hujhax
Date:Wednesday (4/8/09) 8:21am

Marie Antoinette, Queen Elizabeth, and Cleopatra

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Jeez, I knew there would come a day when I would wish I'd paid attention in history class.  No, wait, I did pay attention in history class -- ah, but I took history class in the Stone Age, before we had history.  That explains it.

Okay, first I'd throw the Virgin Queen.  In spite of the (first half of the) Kapur film, I associate Elizabeth I with cold-hearted realpolitik, really scary fascism, and a tendency to kill off her closest admirers.  I'm pretty sure I couldn't pretend to be a practicing Protestant well enough to stay alive around Elizabeth.

I think Marie Antoinette goes in the 'shag' category.  Granted, I'm working from the standard cultural perception that Ms. Antoinette was the 'let them eat cake' lady, and I associate her with vacuous, self-indulgent luxury.  (Though apparently she never actually said 'let them eat cake' and had a keen interest in science, hot-air ballooning and anthropology.  'Feh' to historical realism.)  In that case, her company might make for a good guilty-pleasure sort of evening, but might not work out in the long term.

That leaves Cleopatra to marry.  Here, I'm working just from the Shakespeare play, and perhaps charitably assuming that Cleo looks exactly like she did in Rome or the TV film with Leonor Varela.  The play paints a picture of someone self-absorbed and melodramatic, perhaps making her the 'least worst choice' for marrying, but she seems sharp-witted and affectionate.  It wouldn't be perfect, but it wouldn't be that bad.
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