River Tam, Zoe Washburn, Inara Serra.
|Date:||Tuesday (4/7/09) 3:13pm|| |
River Tam, Zoe Washburn, Inara Serra
Well, that's an interesting one.
First, I'd have to chuck Ms. Tam. I'm sorry, but 'crazy' is a deal-breaker for 'marry' and River's proclivity for accidental killing sprees is a deal-breaker for 'shag'. Frankly, both the mind-reading and the schizophrenia-like symptoms make either prospect feel pretty squicky -- in spite of the current hotness of the actress who played River.
This leaves us with Ms. Serra and Ms. Washburn. My first instinct is to choose Ms. Serra for 'shag,' but then that leaves me marrying Ms. Washburn, and I just don't think that would work out; our personalities clash, and I never was physically attracted to Zoë.
So, I choose Ms. Serra for 'marry', with reservations. I think I'd always feel awkward about my wife's Companion background (and come to think of it, if marrying me took her away from her work, I'd feel guilty about that, too), but that would be my problem, not hers, and I'd just deal. For a woman with that character's wit, beauty, and skill, one would make the necessary mental accommodations.
And that leaves Ms. Washburn in the 'shag' category by default. It might not be my cup of tea, but it would get the other two choices to work out.
I dunno if I'll take the time to fill out an LJ entry with this, but it seems fun. Hit me.
Any TV shows/films I can choose from here? I'm not entirely sure what you'd be familiar with....
Shows I watch or have watched closely include: House M.D., Heroes, 24, The West Wing, Arrested Development, Battlestar Galactica (RDM), Firefly, Scrubs, Saved by the Bell, Dawson's Creek, and I'm sure lots of other trash from the past...
In terms of movies, I don't know what kind of list would make sense for me to try to put here, but you've probably gotta stick fairly mainstream.
Here were the 'real live people' I thought about giving you if you want to take a shot at them: Felicia Day, Anna Faris, Lindsay Lohan.
|Date:||Tuesday (4/7/09) 3:35pm|| |
Felicia Day, Anna Faris, Lindsay Lohan
Well, first off, I would chuck La Lohan -- which is actually kind of sad. I'm often attracted to the characters Ms. Lohan plays (see also: A Prairie Home Companion)
, so she may well be a sensible choice for 'shag.' But if that happened, then I'd walk around the next day thinking, "I just had sex with a celebrity train wreck." And while I know I shouldn't care what other people think, it would make me feel sad and ashamed.
So, off to the 'throw' category with her.
On a more positive note, this leaves me with fairly dilemma-free choices for the last two.
It may surprise people to know that I'd choose to marry Ms. Faris. To this day I have no idea what happened in the original Scary Movie
because I was too busy swooning over the lead actress. I think there was comedy somewhere in that movie, but if it wasn't happening in Ms. Faris's eyes, I probably wasn't watching it. She's hilarious, even (I am told)
elevating wretched dreck like The House Bunny
, and she's trying damn hard (however quixotically) to do good work in good comedies.
By my reckoning, that leaves me shagging Ms. Day. I realize that choosing *anything* over "marry Felicia Day and love her forever" is something like blasphemy in geek circles, and my choosing to love her and leave her might have the more protective geeks reaching for their phasers.
In my defense, I'm sure there are very few women who edge out Ms. Day in the 'marry' category -- it just so happens that Anna Faris is one of them.
The in-over-one's-head girls: Veronica Mars, Kara Thrace, Fiona Glenanne.
|Date:||Tuesday (4/7/09) 4:01pm|| |
Veronica Mars, Kara Thrace, Fiona Glenanne
First off: I am so dead. Any way I choose with this one, things don't end happily for me.
Okay, now that we've skipped past denial, anger, bargaining, and depression, we'll assess our choices for shag, marry, and throw.
I would marry Ms. Mars. Fortunately, two factors work in tandem here: she'd be the most fun to spend time with, and, by my reckoning, she's actually the least likely of the three to kill me. She does have a harrowing past, but handles it with more grace and less angst than most TV characters I can think of, which bodes well for dealing with the vagaries of marriage.
Moving on to Ms. Thrace: odd thing about her. You know how there's a part of your brain that switches on when you see somebody you met a few years back, and sort of buzzes until you remember, "Oh, right, it's so-and-so from that-one-place." Whenever I watch scenes with Starbuck, that part of my brain switches on and never switches back off. ("Oh, right, that's... that's a TV character, and someone I've never met before. Can we turn off the 'recognition' neurons now?")
Yet I never found Starbuck attractive. This is just weird, because I'd see the actress who played Starbuck (in interviews and such) and be all swoony over her. (Same sort of thing [inverted] with Wonderfalls. Jaye Tyler: hot as all get-out; Caroline Dhavernas: attractive, but not overwhelmingly so.) Also, I sense that a shag with Ms. Thrace would enmesh me in some painful love-polygon that I would spend a long time trying to extricate myself from.
So: we chuck Ms. Thrace, and that leaves Ms. Glenanne for the shag. I trust that it would be fun, and that whatever damage she did, modern medical science could repair.
How about Marie Antoinette, Queen Elizabeth, and... Cleopatra?
Ah, but which Queen Elizabeth?
(*commented mainly to use this icon, yes*)
Yes, that one. Let's go with the virgin queen to make it even more interesting. ;)
|Date:||Wednesday (4/8/09) 8:21am|| |
Marie Antoinette, Queen Elizabeth, and Cleopatra
Jeez, I knew there would come a day when I would wish I'd paid attention in history class. No, wait, I did pay attention in history class -- ah, but I took history class in the Stone Age, before we had history. That explains it.
Okay, first I'd throw the Virgin Queen. In spite of the (first half of the) Kapur film
, I associate Elizabeth I with cold-hearted realpolitik
, really scary fascism, and a tendency to kill off her closest admirers. I'm pretty sure I couldn't pretend to be a practicing Protestant well enough to stay alive around Elizabeth.
I think Marie Antoinette goes in the 'shag' category. Granted, I'm working from the standard cultural perception that Ms. Antoinette was the 'let them eat cake' lady, and I associate her with vacuous, self-indulgent luxury. (Though apparently she never actually said 'let them eat cake' and had a keen interest in science, hot-air ballooning and anthropology. 'Feh' to historical realism.) In that case, her company might make for a good guilty-pleasure sort of evening, but might not work out in the long term.
That leaves Cleopatra to marry. Here, I'm working just from the Shakespeare play
, and perhaps charitably assuming that Cleo looks exactly like she did in Rome
or the TV film with Leonor Varela
. The play paints a picture of someone self-absorbed and melodramatic, perhaps making her the 'least worst choice' for marrying, but she seems sharp-witted and affectionate. It wouldn't be perfect, but it wouldn't be that bad.