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Peter Rogers's Blog
Artist-in-Residence at Chez Firth

Friday (1/29/10) 1:24pm - ... wherein Peter writes a sketch for Sketch War.

Sketchwar is an online weekly sketch-writing group.  Every week, participants write comedy sketches about that week's topic; at the end of the week, we read each other's sketches, comment, and perhaps bicker about who wrote the best sketch that week.  If you're interested in participating, this page has information about how to throw a sketch into the ring, as well as the schedule of upcoming topics (next week's topic is "Reporters").

This week's Sketch War topic was "The Arabian Nights".

               Sketchwar
               The Arabian Nights Edition
               "The Genie"

               FADE IN:



               INT. OFFICE - DAY

               MARK (30s, executive) sits at his desk in an expensive- and
               hip-looking office.  A battered old lamp sits on the desk.  A
               trash bin sits beside the desk.  A blank whiteboard stands
               nearby.

               Opposite him stands THE GENIE -- standard-issue magical djinn
               from Arabian folklore.

                                   THE GENIE
                         -- three wishes, for whatever you
                         desire, as your reward for freeing
                         me from this lamp!

                                   MARK
                         Anything?

                                   THE GENIE
                         Anything you desire!  Riches! 
                         Concubines!  Palaces!

                                   MARK
                         Let's go for a palace.

                                   THE GENIE
                         Very well.  I shall but blink my
                         eyes, and --

                                   MARK
                         But not just any palace.

                                   THE GENIE
                         What?

                                   MARK
                         I like the palaces out there, but
                         this one has to be different.

                                   THE GENIE 
                         Different how?

                                   MARK
                         Basically, it has to align to my
                         personal vision statement.

               The genie sighs.



               TITLE:  TWO HOURS LATER



               INT. OFFICE - DAY

               Same as before, except the genie now sits in the chair, and
               the whiteboard has a number of scribbles on it -- sketches of
               palaces and notes such as "Like the Taj Mahal, but
               different."

                                   MARK
                         Also, I need it to float in the
                         air, but not in a levitating sort
                         of way.

                                   THE GENIE
                         But -- how --

                                   MARK
                         It needs to just float.  But with
                         weight.

               The genie twitches.



               TITLE:  1 HOUR LATER



               INT. OFFICE - DAY

               As before, except the genie is disheveled and frustrated. 
               Notations cover the whiteboard, mostly in an erratic scrawl
               with lots of exclamation points.

                                   THE GENIE
                         What does it even mean to 'make it
                         more fruity?!'

                                   MARK
                         Basically, it has to have no right
                         angles, and it has to fit on a one
                         acre lot.

                                   THE GENIE
                         Why didn't you mention any of this
                         at the start?

                                   MARK
                         Also, it has to turn into a car.

               The genie takes a deep breath.

                                   THE GENIE
                         Okay, forget it.

                                   MARK
                         But what about the --

               The genie dissolves into mist, and the mist starts to flow
               back into the lamp.

                                   THE GENIE
                         Forget it!  I'll stay in the lamp!

               The last of the mist disappears into the lamp.

               Mark tries rubbing it.  Nothing happens.

                                   MARK
                         Hmm.

               SAM (20s) enters.

                                   SAM
                         Hi, I'm here about the web-design
                         job?

                                   MARK
                         Right, have a seat.

                                   SAM
                         Pretty standard web storefront,
                         right?

                                   MARK
                         Yeah, I like the web stores out
                         there, but this one has to be
                         different.

               The lamp wobbles back and forth, on its own, until it falls
               into the trash bin.

                                   MARK
                         Hmm.

                                                              FADE OUT.




(I've cross-posted this to the Sketchwar site.)

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Mood: [mood icon] disappointed · Music: none
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