Sketchwar is an online weekly sketch-writing group. Every week, participants write comedy sketches about that week's topic; at the end of the week, we read each other's sketches, comment, and perhaps bicker about who wrote the best sketch that week. If you're interested in participating, this page has information about how to throw a sketch into the ring, as well as the schedule of upcoming topics (next week's topic is "Lost & Found").
This week's Sketch War topic was "Reporters".
Sketchwar Reporters Edition "Page One" FADE IN: INT. OFFICE - DAY An EDITOR (50s) -- suspenders, cigar, sun-visor hat -- sits at his desk. A REPORTER (30) sits opposite him. A sign with a large "AMERICA DAILY" logo the wall beside the door. EDITOR You want a health-care article? On page one? Of *my* newspaper? REPORTER The CBO put out another report, and -- The editor produces a sheaf of paper and dumps it on the desk. EDITOR And you summarized in three thousand goddamn words! REPORTER It's complicated. EDITOR Where's the human interest? REPORTER It's explaining about how a single payer system -- EDITOR Who the hell knows what "single payer" means? REPORTER The definition is really simple -- EDITOR We're not including another page one 'glossary insert'. Not on my watch, kid. REPORTER This is the biggest news story going, and we have to get it across to people! The editor tosses the sheaf of papers at the reporter. EDITOR Three hundred words, at an eighth grade reading level, or never darken my door again! REPORTER #2 (30) opens the door and he peeks inside. REPORTER #2 Boss, check this out! He holds up an infographic: a bar chart with a different smiling puppy face at the top of each bar. The edtior eyes it. Creepy smile. EDITOR An infographic! REPORTER #2 It's a poll showing eight different breeds of puppies! and what percent of America thinks they're cute! EDITOR That's filling the spot on page one. REPORTER But sir -- EDITOR Out! Both of you! Get out! The reporters start to exit. EDITOR You! Leave the puppy chart. He does so. They exit. The editor picks up the chart. EDITOR (to the chart) Oh, yes, come here, you saucy little minx... FADE OUT.
Mood: disappointed · Music: none