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Peter Rogers's Blog
Artist-in-Residence at Chez Firth

Friday (2/12/10) 7:08pm - ... wherein Peter writes a sketch for Sketch War.

Sketchwar is an online weekly sketch-writing group.  Every week, participants write comedy sketches about that week's topic; at the end of the week, we read each other's sketches, comment, and perhaps bicker about who wrote the best sketch that week.  If you're interested in participating, this page has information about how to throw a sketch into the ring, as well as the schedule of upcoming topics (next week's topic is "Lost & Found").

This week's Sketch War topic was "Reporters".

               Sketchwar
               Reporters Edition
               "Page One"

               FADE IN:



               INT. OFFICE - DAY

               An EDITOR (50s) -- suspenders, cigar, sun-visor hat -- sits
               at his desk.

               A REPORTER (30) sits opposite him.

               A sign with a large "AMERICA DAILY" logo the wall beside the
               door.

                                   EDITOR
                         You want a health-care article?  On
                         page one?  Of *my* newspaper?

                                   REPORTER
                         The CBO put out another report, and
                         --

               The editor produces a sheaf of paper and dumps it on the
               desk.

                                   EDITOR
                         And you summarized in three
                         thousand goddamn words!

                                   REPORTER
                         It's complicated.

                                   EDITOR
                         Where's the human interest?

                                   REPORTER
                         It's explaining about how a single
                         payer system --

                                   EDITOR
                         Who the hell knows what "single
                         payer" means?

                                   REPORTER
                         The definition is really simple --

                                   EDITOR
                         We're not including another page
                         one 'glossary insert'.  Not on my
                         watch, kid.

                                   REPORTER
                         This is the biggest news story
                         going, and we have to get it across
                         to people!

               The editor tosses the sheaf of papers at the reporter.

                                   EDITOR
                         Three hundred words, at an eighth
                         grade reading level, or never
                         darken my door again!

               REPORTER #2 (30) opens the door and he peeks inside.

                                   REPORTER #2
                         Boss, check this out!

               He holds up an infographic:  a bar chart with a different
               smiling puppy face at the top of each bar.

               The edtior eyes it.  Creepy smile.

                                   EDITOR
                         An infographic!

                                   REPORTER #2
                         It's a poll showing eight different
                         breeds of puppies! and what percent
                         of America thinks they're cute!

                                   EDITOR
                         That's filling the spot on page
                         one.

                                   REPORTER
                         But sir --

                                   EDITOR
                         Out!  Both of you!  Get out!

               The reporters start to exit.

                                   EDITOR
                         You!  Leave the puppy chart.

               He does so.

               They exit.

               The editor picks up the chart.

                                   EDITOR
                             (to the chart)
                         Oh, yes, come here, you saucy
                         little minx... 

                                                              FADE OUT.


(I've cross-posted this to the Sketchwar site.)

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Mood: [mood icon] disappointed · Music: none
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