Sketchwar is an online weekly sketch-writing group. Every week, participants write comedy sketches about that week's topic; at the end of the week, we read each other's sketches, comment, and perhaps bicker about who wrote the best sketch that week. If you're interested in participating, this page has information about how to throw a sketch into the ring, as well as the schedule of upcoming topics (next week's topic is "Westerns").
This week's Sketch War topic was "Surgery".
Sketchwar Surgery Edition "Forms" FADE IN: INT. DOCTOR'S WAITING ROOM - DAY ERIC walks up to a counter where a SECRETARY works. ERIC Hi, I'm Eric, I have a ten'o'clock appointment -- SECRETARY The surgery. ERIC Yeah. The secretary hands over a paper and a pen. ERIC What's this? SECRETARY It just's a form to verify you have requested this treatment. As Eric signs, the secretary hands over another one. He reads it. ERIC "I will not pick at any sutures, or pour acid on any --" SECRETARY It happens. Just sign to say that you won't do anything like that. Eric signs, the secretary hands over another one. Eric gives it a look. ERIC What the hell? SECRETARY It's all perfectly standard, Eric. ERIC "I understand that evil spirits cannot enter my body through surgical incisions, and possess me to --" I don't believe in voodoo! The secretary hands over another form. SECRETARY Then you shouldn't have a problem with signing. Eric holds up the latest form. ERIC This one just says, "No takebacks." What does that even mean? The secretary hands over one more form. Eric reads it in disbelief. ERIC I refuse to acknowledge Doctor Stanton as a "noble demigod." DOCTOR STANTON enters. DOCTOR STANTON How we doin'? All through the paperwork? ERIC Well, no, actually, I -- DOCTOR STANTON Good, good. We can get going then! SECRETARY Doctor? DOCTOR STANTON Yes? The secretary pulls out a *massive* sheaf of forms. SECRETARY You have some forms for the insurance company. The doctor GROANS, looks at the first one. As he signs it -- DOCTOR STANTON Of *course* I'm not epileptic, drunk, stoned, or clinically-dead. SECRETARY And the next one. Eric takes a seat. This could take a while. DOCTOR STANTON "If patient dies, I promise not to use voodoo to raise him from the dead." Really? SECRETARY It's the rules, doctor. FADE TO BLACK.
Mood: disappointed · Music: none