?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Peter Rogers's Blog
Artist-in-Residence at Chez Firth

Friday (5/21/10) 1:13pm - ... wherein Peter writes a sketch for Sketch War.

Sketchwar is an online weekly sketch-writing group.  Every week, participants write comedy sketches about that week's topic; at the end of the week, we read each other's sketches, comment, and perhaps bicker about who wrote the best sketch that week.  If you're interested in participating, this page has information about how to throw a sketch into the ring, as well as the schedule of upcoming topics (next week's topic is "Kung Fu").

This week's Sketch War topic was "LOST".



               Sketchwar
               LOST Edition
               "Even Nuttier Than It Appears"

               FADE IN:



               INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

               SANDRA and TIFFANY watch TV.

               (Tiffany rather more intensely than Sandra.)

                                   TV SINGERS (O.S.)
                         It's wacky and Canadian!
                         It's That Nutty Moose!

               (After this TV title theme, nothing else from the television
               is clearly audible.)

                                   TIFFANY
                         Look at that!

                                   SANDRA
                         What?

                                   TIFFANY
                         There's a brown Nissan Sentra
                         outside the bar.

                                   SANDRA
                         Um.  Yeah?

                                   TIFFANY
                         It's the exact same one that was
                         way in the background in that
                         curling scene last week.

                                   SANDRA
                         Oh.  Um, great.

                                   TIFFANY
                         I'll bet this means the Tim Hortons
                         guy has a stalker.

               ERIC enters.

                                   TIFFANY
                         You're late!

                                   ERIC
                         What did I miss?

                                   SANDRA
                         Eric.  You hate That Nutty Moose.

                                   ERIC
                         No way!

                                   SANDRA
                         You called it "dull, derivative
                         pabulum."

                                   ERIC
                         Only because I didn't properly
                         comprehend it, though.  See, I've
                         got a theory.

                                   TIFFANY
                         Ooh!

                                   SANDRA
                         What?

                                   ERIC
                         The moose? is god.

                                   TIFFANY
                         Wow!

                                   ERIC
                         Just ponder it -- everyone whom the
                         moose gazes directly at, is
                         subsequently blessed in some way.

                                   SANDRA
                             (deadpan)
                         You really think That Nutty Moose
                         has supernatural elements?

                                   ERIC
                         Okay, perhaps my theory is a bit
                         'out there' --

               ALICIA makes a dramatic entrance.

                                   ALICIA
                         Or PERHAPS it's not OUT THERE
                         ENOUGH!

                                   ERIC
                         Oh, my.  You look as though you
                         have something to share with the
                         class?

                                   ALICIA
                         Get this:  Jim the Mountie is
                         actually dead!

                                   SANDRA
                         But he just walked into the bar!

                                   ALICIA
                         Exactly.  What's you're seeing?
                         That's his ghost.

               The argument gradually becomes heated.

                                   ERIC
                         But we've never seen Mountie Jim
                         die!

                                   ALICIA
                         It could have happened off-camera!

                                   ERIC
                         Technically, Mountie Jim could just
                         be a figment of Doris's imagination
                         at this point.

                                   TIFFANY
                         No, if Mountie Jim died, somebody
                         would have said something about it!

                                   ALICIA
                         PLEASE!  We don't even know if
                         these episodes are in chronological
                         ORDER!

                                   SANDRA
                         What is wrong with you people? 
                         There are no hidden meanings in
                         That Nutty Moose.  It's a light
                         dramedy about a small town in
                         Saskatchewan! 

                                   ALICIA
                         And one that you, apparently, can't
                         appreciate properly!

                                   TIFFANY
                         Yeah!

                                   SANDRA
                         That's it!  All of you:  out!  Just
                         leave me to watch my show in peace.

                                   ALICIA
                         Sorry.

                                   ERIC
                         It's been tough, y'know, since --

                                   SANDRA
                         Go!

               Sandra shoos them all out.

                                                              FADE OUT.



               OVER BLACK

               TITLE:  "On May 24th, LOST fans will be released back into
               the general population."

                                   ALICIA (V.O.)
                         I've got Fringe DVR'd.

                                   TIFFANY (V.O.)
                         Eh.

                                   ERIC (V.O.)
                         I suppose it'll do.

               TITLE:  "We apologize for the inconvenience."

               TITLE:  "LOST"

                                                              BLACKOUT.



(I've cross-posted this to the Sketchwar site.)

Tags: , ,
Mood: [mood icon] okay · Music: none
Previous Entry Share Next Entry

Comments:

[User Picture]
From:gregstoll
Date:Friday (5/21/10) 12:33pm
(Link)
Hah! Nicely written.
(Reply to this) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:hujhax
Date:Friday (5/21/10) 12:59pm
(Link)
Thanks!
(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:judovitch
Date:Friday (5/21/10) 1:53pm
(Link)
I'm now conditioned to laugh out loud whenever "That Nutty Moose" is mentioned. My co-workers think I'm strange.
(Reply to this) (Thread)
[User Picture]
From:hujhax
Date:Friday (5/21/10) 2:01pm
(Link)
Ha!

(It's sort of become my own personal Exposé, hasn't it?)
(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)