Sketchwar started out as an online weekly sketch-writing group. Every week, participants would write comedy sketches about that week's topic; at the end of the week, we'd read each other's sketches, comment, and perhaps bicker about who wrote the best sketch that week.
These days, though, I'm the only one holding down the fort, thinking up topics and writing up sketches. If you're curious about participating, drop me a line. This page has my list of upcoming topics (next week's topic is "seduction").
This week's Sketch War topic was "birthdays".
Sketchwar Birthdays Edition "Party Hat" FADE IN: EXT. WAREHOUSE DOOR - DAY ROD (a cop out of an 80s action movie) runs up to the open front door of a warehouse, gun drawn, intense. He radios in. ROD I'm at the warehouse. RADIO (V.O.) Goddammit, Sergeant, wait for backup! ROD There's no time! As soon as Jake gets here, we're going in alone. JAKE (O.S.) Already here, partner. How are we doing this? ROD We're going straight through the front do-- Rod turns to see -- JAKE, another cop, though a bit less fit and fashionable. Jake wears a shiny, colorful PARTY HAT. Rod stops short. JAKE It's my birthday. ROD What? JAKE Ergo, I get to wear my special party hat. Jake enters the warehouse, gun drawn. Rod follows. INT. WAREHOUSE HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS Rod and Jake advance down a hall towards a doorway. JAKE Did you even remember it's my birthday? ROD Okay, I'll go across the main floor. You cover me. JAKE No, I get to make the approach -- ROD Jake -- JAKE Look, when it's your special day, you can do what you want. Nobody's even sung me "Happy Birthday" today! ROD (singing) Happy birth- JAKE Oh, it's not the same when you're forced to, Rod. Jake darts out through the doorway. Rod scampers into place and covers him. INT. WAREHOUSE DOORWAY - LATER Jake approaches a doorway. We can hear a voice inside -- CRIME BOSS (O.S.) And the mayor has only five minutes to deliver the ransom. After that? You all die! He continues to AD LIB in the background as Rod catches up. They converse quietly. JAKE I'm serious. No singing. No party. ROD Jake -- JAKE No presents. ROD Okay, I'll get you something. JAKE Would have killed you to knit me a glock cozy? ROD Let's just bust in there and catch the bad guys. JAKE Oh. Oh, wait. I get it. (stage whisper) It's a surprise party, isn't it? ROD What? JAKE Okay, criminals! Here I come! CRIME BOSS (O.S.) What the -- Jake kicks down the door, revealing -- INT. HOSTAGE ROOM - CONTINUOUS A bunch of LOWLIFES, including the CRIME BOSS, stand guard over a few bound and gagged HOSTAGES. Jake and Rod burst in, guns drawn. ROD EVERYBODY FREEZE! JAKE Aw. One LOWLIFE WITH A PARTY HAT pokes his head up. LOWLIFE WITH A PARTY HAT I can go, right? ROD What? Jake nods. The lowlife with a party hat exits through a side door. The crime boss grudgingly starts singing "Happy Birthday." FADE OUT. OVER BLACK The singing continues. The other lowlifes grudgingly start singing along. JAKE (V. O.) Aw, thanks, guys! Let's go to jail!
Mood: okay · Music: none