?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Peter Rogers's Blog
Artist-in-Residence at Chez Firth

Friday (11/5/10) 5:59pm - ... wherein Peter writes a sketch for Sketch War.

Sketchwar started out as an online weekly sketch-writing group.  Every week, participants would write comedy sketches about that week's topic; at the end of the week, we'd read each other's sketches, comment, and perhaps bicker about who wrote the best sketch that week. 

These days, though, I'm usually the only one holding down the fort, thinking up topics and writing up sketches.  (Though Patrick Knisely has been doing some lately.  w00t!)  If you're curious about participating, drop me a line.  This page has my list of upcoming topics (next week's topic is "The Courtroom").

This week's Sketch War topic was "Mental Illness".  Honestly, I was very tempted to skip this week, since I had so little time to write, but Patrick submitted a sketch, so he's keeping me honest.


               Sketchwar
               Mental Illness Edition
               "And... Scene"

               FADE IN:



               INT. PSYCHIATRIC WARD - DAY

               ZEKE CARLSON (30s, unshaven) stares wildly around a small,
               drab bedroom.

               He mutters to himself, as two doctors -- HARTWELL (40s) and
               MARY (20s) -- look on.

               The room's single door is very solid, but has a single glass
               window at eye level.

                                   HARTWELL
                         And Cisordinal is used primarily to
                         treat Mr. Carlson's...

                                   MARY
                         Hallucinations.  Um.  Schizophrenia
                         manifesting audiovisual
                         hallucinations.

                                   HARTWELL
                         Good.

               Zeke stares at an empty spot in the room, then back to the
               doctors.

                                   ZEKE
                         The Big Shot says you two have to
                         leave!

                                   HARTWELL
                         What?

                                   ZEKE
                         He's right there!  The Big Shot!

                                   MARY
                         Well.  He's not a hospital
                         employee, so that doesn't really
                         give him any authority.

               Hartwell takes Mary aside.

                                   HARTWELL
                         You don't have to agree with the
                         hallucinations.  It's best not to,
                         in fact.

                                   MARY
                         Sorry.  It's -- I do a lot of
                         improv.  So it's kind of
                         instinctive.

               Hartwell nods; they return to the patient.

                                   ZEKE
                         The Big Shot is getting upset!

                                   MARY
                         Yeah, well he's only, like, five
                         two.  I could totally take him in a
                         fight.

                                   ZEKE
                         No!  No, he's seven feet tall!  Be
                         careful!

                                   MARY
                         What?  I just said the Big Shot was
                         short!

               Hartwell takes her aside again, gives her a questioning look.

                                   MARY
                         Well -- he was blocking!  He denied
                         the reality of what I just said,
                         and... right.

                                   HARTWELL
                         Not improv.  He's crazy.

                                   MARY
                         Okay.

               Back to the patient.

                                   HARTWELL
                         Mr. Carlson?  Your chart says that
                         you've been noncompliant on your
                         Cisordinal.
                             (to Mary)
                         Right?

               Mary doesn't respond.

                                   HARTWELL
                         Right?

                                   MARY
                         I'm sorry.  It's just really bad
                         form in improv to tell somebody,
                         "You forgot to take your crazy
                         pills --

                                   HARTWELL
                         Maybe you should wait outside.

                                   MARY
                         Yeah.

               She steps out of the room, and closes the door.

                                   ZEKE
                         The Big Shot says that you two were
                         doing a largely transactional
                         teaching scene.

               Mary pounds on the door.

                                   MARY
                         OH YOU BASTARD!

                                                              BLACKOUT.



(I've cross-posted this to the Sketchwar site.)

Tags: , ,
Mood: [mood icon] amused · Music: none
Previous Entry Share Next Entry