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Peter Rogers's Blog
Artist-in-Residence at Chez Firth

Friday (1/7/11) 7:49pm - ... wherein Peter writes a sketch for Sketch War.

Sketchwar started out as an online weekly sketch-writing group.  Every week, participants would write comedy sketches about that week's topic; at the end of the week, we'd read each other's sketches, comment, and perhaps bicker about who wrote the best sketch that week. 

These days, though, I'm usually the only one holding down the fort, thinking up topics and writing up sketches.  (Though Patrick Knisely has been doing some lately.  w00t!)  If you're curious about participating, drop me a line.  This page has my list of upcoming topics (next week's topic is "Air Travel").

This week's Sketch War topic was "Snow".

               Sketchwar
               Snow Edition
               "Snow Day"

               FADE IN:

               CLOSE UP on RICH (40s), in the sun, sweating, talking on a
               cell phone.

                                   RICH
                         Magical.  Just magical.  I envy
                         you.
                             (pause)
                         You had three feet of snow?  Wow.
                             (pause)
                         Yeah, shoveling gives you a workout
                         for free!  Wow.  Just seeing the
                         streets all blanketed in a soft
                         layer of snow, and everything's so
                         quiet --

               A WIDER SHOT reveals that Rich is in a chaise-longue.

                                   RICH
                         Sure, you have to walk carefully,
                         but you just keep an eye out for
                         ice, and --
                             (pause)
                         Yeah, the driving's more difficult,
                         but --
                             (pause)
                         But it changes the whole world!  It
                         smooths off the rough edges, and
                         turns the city into something new
                         and magical, and --

               A WAITRESS comes by with small tray of bills.

                                   WAITRESS
                         Your change.

               Rich puts a hand over the receiver.

                                   RICH
                         Oh, keep it -- they had three feet
                         of snow in Boise!

                                   WAITRESS
                         That must be so pretty!

               Rich mouths the words as he goes back to the phone.

                                   RICH
                         I know!

               A WIDER SHOT reveals that Rich is in a chaise-longue by a
               pool where all sorts of beautiful people cavort on a perfect,
               sunny day.

                                   RICH
                         But frostbite is easy to recover
                         from!
                             (pause)
                         C'mon!  If you don't leave your
                         trash out, you won't *have* any ice
                         weasels!
                             (pause)
                         I know, I know -- everything shuts
                         down from the beautiful silence of
                         nature.  I don't care if your power
                         is out, you're still the lucky one.
                             (pause)
                         Hello?  Hello?

               The waitress comes back by with a tray of drinks.

                                   RICH
                         He shouted a bunch of profanities
                         and hung up.

                                   WAITRESS
                         Well, he must be excited -- Mai
                         Tai?

                                   RICH
                         Yes!  Hey, did you ever see The
                         Empire Strikes Back?

                                   WAITRESS
                         Ah.  Hoth.  The ice planet.  I know
                         it well.

                                                              FADE TO BLACK.


(I've cross-posted this to the Sketchwar site.)

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Mood: [mood icon] amused · Music: none
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