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Peter Rogers's Blog
Artist-in-Residence at Chez Firth

Thursday (1/19/12) 4:12pm - ... wherein Spanish amends "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" to "Don't Tell Gay Chuck Norris What To Do".

This week's situation:  "Chuck Norris has come out of the closet!"



Gay Chuck Norris can marry a man in whatever jurisdiction he wants, because Gay Chuck Norris is a law unto himself.

Gay Chuck Norris puede casarse con un hombre en cualquier jurisdicción que quiere, porque Gay Chuck Norris es una ley en sí mismo.


Everybody's at least a little homophobic, because everyone fears Gay Chuck Norris.

Todo el mundo está por lo menos un poco homofóbico, porque todos temen Gay Chuck Norris.


Gay Chuck Norris is celibate, because no man is man enough for Gay Chuck Norris.

Gay Chuck Norris es el celibato, porque ningún hombre es lo suficientemente hombre para Gay Chuck Norris.


God rewrote the Bible to explicitly say, "I'm totally cool with Gay Chuck Norris being gay."  This is because God doesn't want to get punched in the face.

Dios volvió a escribir la Biblia dice explícitamente:  «Estoy totalmente cool con Gay Chuck Norris ser gay.»  Esto es porque Dios no quiere que se golpeó en la cara.


Any bar with Gay Chuck Norris in it is automatically a gay bar.

Cualquier bar con Gay Chuck Norris en que es automáticamente un bar gay.


The color of the bandanna tucked into Gay Chuck Norris's back pocket indicates which martial art he will use to kill you.

El color del pañuelo metido en el bolsillo trasero Gay Chuck Norris indica que el arte marcial que va a usar para matarte.


Gay Chuck Norris's Kinsey number is undefined, because no man-made system can measure Gay Chuck Norris's gayness.

El número Kinsey para Gay Chuck Norris es indefinido, porque no hay hombre sistema puede medir la homosexualidad de Gay Chuck Norris.


The existence of Gay Chuck Norris makes male heterosexuality inherently effeminate.

La existencia de Gay Chuck Norris hace la heterosexualidad masculina inherentemente afeminados.

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Note:  As always, these 'translations' are just Google Translate output, so corrections are totally welcome.

Also, click this link for an entire web site of Spanish situations!

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[User Picture]
From:innocentsmith
Date:Thursday (1/19/12) 9:32pm
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...I think this is my new favorite Spanish post. And you know how I feel about your Spanish posts.

OMG.
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[User Picture]
From:hujhax
Date:Thursday (1/19/12) 11:48pm
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Thank you so much!

(For me personally, I think "IT Harlequin Romance Lines" still reigns supreme. :) )
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From:shadyglenn
Date:Friday (1/20/12) 10:05am
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The color of the bandanna tucked into Gay Chuck Norris's back pocket indicates which martial art he will use to kill you.

Absolute genius, sir (all of it, but particularly the above line). I take off my hat to you.
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From:hujhax
Date:Friday (1/20/12) 12:28pm
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Ha!  Yep, that was the line I was most proud of. :)
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