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Peter Rogers's Blog
Artist-in-Residence at Chez Firth

Thursday (11/13/08) 1:43pm - ... wherein you only wish there were 'monos volantes'.

[A bit 'inside baseball' this time around, but I feel compelled to vent.]

Welcome to this week's installment of "Spanish for Everyday Situations".

This week's situation:  "You've decided to write an awful, awful screenplay!"



(wryly)

(sesgadamente)


Everyone loves a movie that starts with half an hour of backstory.

Cada uno ama una película que comience con la media hora de contexto.


EXT. PATIO -- EARLY MORNING, BUT NOT TOO EARLY, BUT THERE SHOULD STILL BE SOME STARS OUT

EXT. PATIO -- MADRUGADA, PERO NO DEMASIADO TEMPRANO, SINO ALLÍ DEBE TODAVÍA SER ALGUNAS ESTRELLAS HACIA FUERA


Conflict makes me feel icky.  I'll just show people getting along.

El conflicto hace me la sensación incómodo.  Demostraré a la gente que los llevan bien.


'Characters' with 'objectives' is so passé.

Los 'caracteres' con 'objetivos' son tan passé.


I think the best way to explain what happens is with a montage -- or better yet, with three consecutive montages!

Pienso que la mejor manera de explicar qué sucede está con un montaje -- ¡aún mejore, con tres montajes consecutivos!


Fortunately, I've included helpful diagrams to illustrate how all the shots should look.

Afortunadamente, he incluido diagramas provechosos para ilustrar cómo todos los tomas deben aparecer.


After the twist ending, I'll include *two more* twist endings!

¡Después de que el final sopreso, yo incluya *dos más* finales sopresos!


Making it a hundred and thirty pages long will make the producers feel like they're getting their money's worth.

La escritura de cientos y treinta páginas hará que los productores sienten como valía la pena pagar ese dinero.


My life will be *so easy* once people recognize my awesome talent and pay me a million dollars for this!

¡Mi vida será *tan fácil* una vez que la gente reconoce mi talento impresionante y me paga millón de dólares esto!


Note:  As always, the 'translations' are pretty much just babelfish output; corrections are, of course, welcome.

Tags: ,
Mood: [mood icon] amused · Music: none
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Comments:

From:innocentsmith
Date:Thursday (11/13/08) 2:36pm
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I seriously love these posts. So much.

After the twist ending, I'll include *two more* twist endings!

Hey now. I like Clue! XD
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From:hujhax
Date:Thursday (11/13/08) 2:53pm

"It's what we call 'overkill'...."

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Ha!  Well-played, Ms. innocentsmith.

As regards the upcoming Monopoly, I can't help but feel a bit o_O....
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From:innocentsmith
Date:Thursday (11/13/08) 3:12pm

"The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand." "You ain't just whistling Dixie!"

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*curtsies*

They're making a movie of...? Well, maybe if you... Wait, Ridley Scott? Wait, "a futuristic sheen along the lines of his iconic Blade Runner? You, I, ...what?

...It'll either be amazing or the weirdest mess ever made. Or both.
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From:hujhax
Date:Thursday (11/13/08) 4:04pm

Re: "The Kingdom of Heaven is at hand." "You ain't just whistling Dixie!"

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They're making a movie of...? Well, maybe if you... Wait, Ridley Scott? Wait, "a futuristic sheen along the lines of his iconic Blade Runner? You, I, ...what?.

*laughs and does not stop laughing for some time*

*wipes tears*

*resumes laughing*
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From:innocentsmith
Date:Thursday (11/13/08) 6:03pm

"There's still one thing I don't understand." "ONE thing?"

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^_^ Just transcribing my internal monologue. Though I'm glad it brought you mirth.

I'm now imagining the little millionaire mascot dude with his monocle as a cyborg attachment, or something. It's...interesting.
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From:hujhax
Date:Thursday (11/13/08) 6:24pm

"Now I'm going to go home, and..."

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*totally wants John Hodgman to play Uncle Pennybags*
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From:dancing_llama
Date:Thursday (11/13/08) 2:53pm
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you are made of win.
More people should listen to my snarky suggestions. *grins*
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From:hujhax
Date:Thursday (11/13/08) 2:57pm
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More people should listen to my snarky suggestions. *grins*.

*tips hat*
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