Sketchwar is an online weekly sketch-writing group. Every week, participants write comedy sketches about that week's topic; at the end of the week, we read each other's sketches, comment, and perhaps bicker about who wrote the best sketch that week. If you're interested in participating, this page has information about how to throw a sketch into the ring, as well as the schedule of upcoming topics (next week's topic is "Weddings").
This week's Sketch War topic was "A Bad Day at the Office".
Sketch War A Bad Day at the Office Edition "Work Dandies" FADE IN: INT. OFFICE - DAY CLOSE ON MR. KARAKIS (dumpy, middle-aged) who stands in the typical drab office: fluorescents, gray color scheme, cheesy motivational poster. KARAKIS -- the training session is in Des Moines, and there are a few clients to meet out there, so you're both going on a business trip! REVEAL who Mr. Robinson's talking to: MR. LIGHTCASTLE and MR. WORTHINGTON, two Victorian-era English dandies in their twenties. They sit at a desk. Mr. Lightcastle files his nails. Mr. Worthington studies his face from various angles in a mirror. A small handheld bell sits on the desk. LIGHTCASTLE Will there be fox hunting? KARAKIS Foxes? Like the animals? LIGHTCASTLE 'tis the season, after all. WORTHINGTON Absolutely the season! Late November, of course. KARAKIS You can't kill foxes in Des Moines. LIGHTCASTLE Bah! Then we refuse! We shan't go! WORTHINGTON We absolutely shan't, of course. KARAKIS Okay. We can get you up to speed on the training material over lunch. Tomorrow, we'll go to the Olive Garden and -- LIGHTCASTLE We shall be dining at the club. WORTHINGTON The club, of course. LIGHTCASTLE Which reminds me, are you peckish, Mr. Worthington? WORTHINGTON Positively dying of starvation, Mr. Lightcastle. Mr. Lightcastle rings the bell. LIGHTCASTLE Herbert! HERBERT, a severe, formally-dressed servant, enters. LIGHTCASTLE Herbert, go to the break room and see if they finally have any game pheasant one can prepare. WORTHINGTON Or grouse. LIGHTCASTLE Grouse will do, in a pinch. WORTHINGTON If you absolutely must. Herbert silently exits. KARAKIS We will get you up to speed on this somehow. The new technical writers arrive next week, and it's your job to -- LIGHTCASTLE Our job? WORTHINGTON Ha! Preposterous! LIGHTCASTLE Our only office, my dear man, is to look eminently fashionable. Which we do quite well. WORTHINGTON The apotheoses of couture, if we do say so ourselves. KARAKIS Well, then we need to find some approach that -- A larger, unseen bell CHIMES three times. LIGHTCASTLE Three in the afternoon! WORTHINGTON On the dot! LIGHTCASTLE Forgive us, we simply must retire to the local tavern. It's been a difficult day. WORTHINGTON Overwrought with fatigue, of course. Mr. Karakis sniffs the air. KARAKIS Is that opium? LIGHTCASTLE Really, who keeps track of such things? WORTHINGTON Indeed, who? Lightcastle rings the little bell again. LIGHTCASTLE Herbert, prepare our equipage! The door bursts open, and an INTERN (teens) arrives out of breath. LIGHTCASTLE You're not Herbert. INTERN (to Karakis) Sir, bad news! There are foxes loose in the building and nobody knows what to do! KARAKIS What? INTERN And, and -- the CEO is about to attend the Governor's Ball, but has no idea how to match his topcoat and gloves! KARAKIS Oh god! INTERN And, and, the Viscountess of Salisbury is on her way to the company headquarters, and someone needs to entertain her! KARAKIS What will we do? The two dandies stand as one, heroically. LIGHTCASTLE Stand aside, sir. WORTHINGTON This calls for Victorian English dandies! Then they flounce out of the room. KARAKIS God bless those crazy bastards. FADE OUT.
Mood: amused · Music: none