Sketchwar is an online weekly sketch-writing group. Every week, participants write comedy sketches about that week's topic; at the end of the week, we read each other's sketches, comment, and perhaps bicker about who wrote the best sketch that week. If you're interested in participating, this page has information about how to throw a sketch into the ring, as well as the schedule of upcoming topics (next week's topic is "The End of an Era").
This week's Sketch War topic was "Fan Convention".
Sketchwar Fan Convention Edition "Last Question" FADE IN: INT. UPSCALE RESTAURANT - NIGHT CHAUNCY (20s, nerdy, monotone) welcomes HIS DATE (20s, elegant, very attractive) to his table. CHAUNCY Wow. I think you're really great. HIS DATE Awww! CHAUNCY And I'd like to tell you a little about my life -- HIS DATE Okay. CHAUNCY -- and some of my theories. His date's a little creeped-out. HIS DATE Hmm. INT. LUGGAGE STORE - DAY Chauncy stands next to a display of luggage, beneath a large "The Luggage Store" logo. He talks to a STORE EMPLOYEE. CHAUNCY In fact, putting luggage is like creating form for your whole life. STORE EMPLOYEE Yes, well -- CHAUNCY And it, like, applies to the whole world -- STORE EMPLOYEE Did you want to buy something? CHAUNCY The world, in all its mellifluous forms. The employee looks puzzled. INT./EXT. TAXI/TAXI STAND - DAY At a taxi-pickup curb, Chauncy leans over the window of a taxicab. He has several bags from the store with him. CHAUNCY My whole life, taxis have been a big inspiration to me, and helped me get through unemployment, foot rashes, bad experiences in cyber rooms -- The taxi takes off. CHAUNCY Thanks for your time! INT. AIRPORT GATE DESK - DAY Chauncy talks to the GATE AGENT. A long line of IMPATIENT CUSTOMERS wait behind Chauncy. CHAUNCY But nobody really *gets* your work as a gate agent the way that I do. GATE AGENT Sir, did you actually have a question? CHAUNCY Yeah, I'm getting to it. Now, my theory about air travel is that the air routes are like arteries, right? INT. HOTEL FRONT DESK - DAY Chauncy talks to the RECEPTIONIST at a hotel front desk. A sign on the wall reads "Welcome Convention Guests!" Again, several IMPATIENT CUSTOMERS wait behind Chauncy. CHAUNCY So my theory is that hotels, like, represent real life. Wouldn't you say that's true? The receptionist looks back, puzzled. INT. CONVENTION HALL - DAY CLOSE ON a poster for the San Diego Comic Con. CHAUNCY (V.O.) (whispered) I have a theory about fan conventions. Chauncy sits among a few other FANS, whispering to the fan next to him. A PAGE stands nearby. In the background, we hear THE SPEAKER. THE SPEAKER (O.S.) And that's why I haven't worked with Vertigo since then. No bad blood, just I just found a better match with other companies. I think we have time for one more question. The page looks around at Chauncy and the fans. All this time, Chauncy is still whispering. CHAUNCY (whispered) They are an Internet for ideas about -- The page points at Chauncy and interrupts -- PAGE You! The page gestures at an offscreen microphone. PAGE Go and ask your question. Chauncy walks offscreen to the mic, overjoyed, while the other fans sulk. CHAUNCY (O.S.) Wow. I think you're really great. THE SPEAKER Thanks. CHAUNCY (O.S.) And I'd like to tell you a little about my life -- THE SPEAKER Um.... CHAUNCY (V.O.) -- and some of my theories. A SLOW FADE starts. Superimpose TEXT: "Please, don't be this guy. San Diego Comic Con 2010" CHAUNCY (V.O.) You see, nobody really gets your comics like I do, because of my life experiences -- THE SPEAKER Wait, do you actually have a question? CHAUNCY (V.O.) Yeah, I'm getting to it. BLACKOUT.
Mood: amused · Music: none