Sketchwar is an online weekly sketch-writing group. Every week, participants write comedy sketches about that week's topic; at the end of the week, we read each other's sketches, comment, and perhaps bicker about who wrote the best sketch that week. If you're interested in participating, this page has information about how to throw a sketch into the ring, as well as the schedule of upcoming topics (next week's topic is "Fired!").
This week's Sketch War topic was "Westerns".
Sketchwar Westerns Edition "The Lost Cowpoke of Krelkon-6" FADE IN: INT. STUDIO EXEC OFFICE - DAY CANDACE (20s) and SAM (20s) sit across from an EXECUTIVE (50s, balding, ponytail) in an expensive-looking office with sci-fi movie posters on the walls. CANDACE And the movie we're pitching you is called... SAM ... The Lost Cowpoke! CANDACE Here's the story -- Just as Sam picks up a printout and starts reading from it, the executive speaks up. EXECUTIVE Stop. Just stop. A Western? Really? SAM "The year is 1875 --" EXECUTIVE Westerns are out. Sci-fi is in. CANDACE Um -- exactly! SAM (sotto voce) What? CANDACE (sotto voce) Just read. SAM "The year is 1875 --" CANDACE ... of the Galactic Empire! Candace is clearly making all of this up. SAM ... and sheriff Jenkins -- CANDACE The sole legal enforcer of a mining colony on the sixth moon of Krelkon! SAM Is fighting off some bandits -- CANDACE An invading force of sentient alien mindworms! SAM He chases them out of town -- CANDACE And they flee through hyperspace! SAM But they abduct his wife -- CANDACE In a statis pod, to take her back to their home planet! SAM So he rounds up his deputy -- CANDACE The dreaded KillBot 3000! SAM They get on their horses -- CANDACE That's H-O-R-apostrophe-capital-S-E S, a breed of sentient spaceships. SAM And even though they're almost killed by Indians -- CANDACE By a warrior race of sentient, genetically-modified spacefaring buffalo! SAM They, uh, get her back. CANDACE By peeling her out of the gooey stasis pod and ray-gun blasting their way out of the mindworm planet's central command! The executive pulls out a cell phone, presses a few buttons, sets it on the table. After a moment, the BIG BOSS answers. BIG BOSS (V.O.) What is it? EXECUTIVE Boss, I've got a promising sci-fi property for you -- BIG BOSS (V.O.) Dammit, sci-fi is out. It's crested. Romantic comedies are in. CANDACE Uh -- did I mention the Killbot 3000 is sassy and gay? BIG BOSS (V.O.) Hmm. Let's talk. The executive picks up the phone and talks with his boss. Meanwhile -- CANDACE (sotto voce) You think this is how Firefly got made? Sam shrugs. FADE OUT.
Mood: okay · Music: none