Sketchwar is an online weekly sketch-writing group. Every week, participants write comedy sketches about that week's topic; at the end of the week, we read each other's sketches, comment, and perhaps bicker about who wrote the best sketch that week. If you're interested in participating, this page has information about how to throw a sketch into the ring, as well as the schedule of upcoming topics (next week's topic is "Kung Fu").
This week's Sketch War topic was "LOST".
Sketchwar LOST Edition "Even Nuttier Than It Appears" FADE IN: INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT SANDRA and TIFFANY watch TV. (Tiffany rather more intensely than Sandra.) TV SINGERS (O.S.) It's wacky and Canadian! It's That Nutty Moose! (After this TV title theme, nothing else from the television is clearly audible.) TIFFANY Look at that! SANDRA What? TIFFANY There's a brown Nissan Sentra outside the bar. SANDRA Um. Yeah? TIFFANY It's the exact same one that was way in the background in that curling scene last week. SANDRA Oh. Um, great. TIFFANY I'll bet this means the Tim Hortons guy has a stalker. ERIC enters. TIFFANY You're late! ERIC What did I miss? SANDRA Eric. You hate That Nutty Moose. ERIC No way! SANDRA You called it "dull, derivative pabulum." ERIC Only because I didn't properly comprehend it, though. See, I've got a theory. TIFFANY Ooh! SANDRA What? ERIC The moose? is god. TIFFANY Wow! ERIC Just ponder it -- everyone whom the moose gazes directly at, is subsequently blessed in some way. SANDRA (deadpan) You really think That Nutty Moose has supernatural elements? ERIC Okay, perhaps my theory is a bit 'out there' -- ALICIA makes a dramatic entrance. ALICIA Or PERHAPS it's not OUT THERE ENOUGH! ERIC Oh, my. You look as though you have something to share with the class? ALICIA Get this: Jim the Mountie is actually dead! SANDRA But he just walked into the bar! ALICIA Exactly. What's you're seeing? That's his ghost. The argument gradually becomes heated. ERIC But we've never seen Mountie Jim die! ALICIA It could have happened off-camera! ERIC Technically, Mountie Jim could just be a figment of Doris's imagination at this point. TIFFANY No, if Mountie Jim died, somebody would have said something about it! ALICIA PLEASE! We don't even know if these episodes are in chronological ORDER! SANDRA What is wrong with you people? There are no hidden meanings in That Nutty Moose. It's a light dramedy about a small town in Saskatchewan! ALICIA And one that you, apparently, can't appreciate properly! TIFFANY Yeah! SANDRA That's it! All of you: out! Just leave me to watch my show in peace. ALICIA Sorry. ERIC It's been tough, y'know, since -- SANDRA Go! Sandra shoos them all out. FADE OUT. OVER BLACK TITLE: "On May 24th, LOST fans will be released back into the general population." ALICIA (V.O.) I've got Fringe DVR'd. TIFFANY (V.O.) Eh. ERIC (V.O.) I suppose it'll do. TITLE: "We apologize for the inconvenience." TITLE: "LOST" BLACKOUT.
Mood: okay · Music: none