Sketchwar started out as an online weekly sketch-writing group. Every week, participants would write comedy sketches about that week's topic; at the end of the week, we'd read each other's sketches, comment, and perhaps bicker about who wrote the best sketch that week.
These days, though, I'm usually the only one holding down the fort, thinking up topics and writing up sketches. If you're curious about participating, drop me a line. This page has my list of upcoming topics (next week's topic is "Evolution").
This week's Sketch War topic was "Sleep Deprivation".
Sketchwar Sleep Deprivation Edition "Boogeymen" FADE IN: INT. CHILD'S BEDROOM - NIGHT SAM (8) lies in bed in a darkened bedroom, across from an ominous-looking closet door. He sits upright. SAM Mom! Mom enters. MOM What is it, Sam? SAM I'm scared! MOM Scared of what? He points at the closet door. SAM Monsters. MOM Monsters? SAM (whispered) Grammar Nazis! MOM Sam, there's no such thing -- SAM The teacher told us about them at school! MOM They're not real -- SAM They're really scary! MOM Are we really going over this again? It's just a figure of speech, Sam. There's no such thing as Grammar Nazis, just like there was no such thing as Fashion Police last week. Sam sniffles. SAM I'm sorry. MOM Aw. Look, if they were real, they wouldn't mess around with us. Because there's no way they're tougher than me. Okay? SAM Okay. MOM You're alright? Sam nods. She gives him a kiss and exits. Beat. Then, voices from the closet. NAZI #1 (O.S.) Zat should hev been 'tougher zen I am.' NAZI #2 (O.S.) Ja. Definite predicate nominative. NAZI #1 (O.S.) Still, perhaps ve shouldn't take her aveh to the re-education camp. NAZI #2 (O.S.) Nein! Zis it vat ve do to whomever transgresses against ze rules of grammar! SAM I... I think you mean 'whoever'. NAZI #2 (O.S.) Insolent child! It is ze object of a preposition. Sound of a SMACK! NAZI #2 (O.S.) Ach, meine Nase! NAZI #1 (O.S.) Dummkopf! Ze entire clause is ze object of ze preposition! Ze preposition acts as a subject, zus it is nominative! NAZI #2 (O.S.) Mein Gott.... NAZI #1 (O.S.) You have humiliated ze Reich! Let us depart to zome ozzer suburban home, and try to live down ze shame! NAZI #2 (O.S.) Raus! Raus! Sound of MARCHING FEET, quickly disappearing into the distance. Beat. Sam sighs with relief. Then, two swishy voices from the closet: POLICE #1 (O.S.) Whew. Glad they're skee-daddling! POLICE #2 (O.S.) I'll say! Those epaulets alone were a clear fashion violation! POLICE #1 (O.S.) Pull over, Helmut, you're going to fashion jail! POLICE #2 (O.S.) (imitating siren) Ba-weoo! Ba-weoo! SAM MOM! BLACKOUT.
Mood: amused · Music: none