Sketchwar started out as an online weekly sketch-writing group. Every week, participants would write comedy sketches about that week's topic; at the end of the week, we'd read each other's sketches, comment, and perhaps bicker about who wrote the best sketch that week.
These days, though, I'm usually the only one holding down the fort, thinking up topics and writing up sketches. (Though Patrick Knisely has been doing some lately. w00t!) If you're curious about participating, drop me a line. This page has my list of upcoming topics (next week's topic is "New Music").
This week's Sketch War topic was "The Courtroom".
Sketchwar The Courtroom Edition "The Lawson Longshot" FADE IN: INT. COURTROOM - DAY ONLOOKERS fill a set of audience seats in a courtroom. BOB (20s) finds a seat next to JIMMY (50s). From offscreen, JUDGE LAWSON's voice rings out -- a snarly version of one of Charlie Brown's teachers. DEFENSE LAWYER (O.S.) But, Judge Lawson -- MORE SNARLING! Lawson's snarling voice continues in the background throughout. Bob leans over to Jimmy. BOB Does Lawson just find people in contempt of court at random? JIMMY Three times per case, on average. ENRICO sidles in next to Jimmy. ENRICO Hear anything about the new guy defending the Pulaski case? BOB Oh, that's me. Bob Carton. ENRICO Wow. Okay, twenty bucks says the new guy loses. BOB What? Jimmy makes a note. JIMMY Got it, Enrico. BOB Wait, did he --? never mind. ANGELA pokes her head in. ANGELA Thirty on a continuance in Pulaski. JIMMY That's five-to-one. ANGELA Sounds good. She heads off. BOB But the case should be open-and shut, since -- JIMMY Should be, but Lawson is insane. CLIFF sidles up next to Jimmy. CLIFF I'm taking an exacta on the summary judgment followed by punitive damages in the Pulaski case. JIMMY And your usual side bet? CLIFF Yeah, five bucks says Lawson tells a long, irrelevant story about his cat. Cliff exits. BOB You're a bookie? JIMMY Betting is the only thing that makes Lawson bearable. OTIS enters. OTIS I'm bettin' on a sensible court judgment in Pulaski, at 12:1. JIMMY Otis, are you sure about that? Lawson's usually drunk by 3pm. OTIS I got a system! Otis exits. BOB This is ridiculous! JIMMY Lawson is a capricious and evil man. If it weren't for gambling, we'd all just focus on the injustice of it all. ROSE peeks in. ROSE My usual penny on the longshot, James. JIMMY Absolutely. Lawson pulls out an AK, you take home a cool grand. ROSE It could happen, James! You never know! Rose exits. BOB This is ridiculous! JIMMY Shh! BOB This is so wrong I'm not even sure it's illegal! How can you make this travesty of -- JIMMY Just stop! BOB This travesty of the justice system just so you can make a quick -- An especially loud SNARL from Judge Lawson. Bob stops. JIMMY Uh-oh. Bob turns around. Lengthy snarling dialog from Lawson. BOB Fine. A BAILIFF walks up to Bob and escorts him away. Enrico and Cliff re-enter. CLIFF Lawson threw out the defense attorney in Pulaski before the case even started! ENRICO Ha! Jimmy, that pays triple! JIMMY Fine. More snarling from Lawson. CLIFF Hey, now he's talking about his cat! Jimmy buries his face in his hands. FADE OUT.
Mood: amused · Music: none