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Peter Rogers's Blog
Artist-in-Residence at Chez Firth

Friday (12/3/10) 1:03pm - ... wherein Peter writes a sketch for Sketch War.

Sketchwar started out as an online weekly sketch-writing group.  Every week, participants would write comedy sketches about that week's topic; at the end of the week, we'd read each other's sketches, comment, and perhaps bicker about who wrote the best sketch that week. 

These days, though, I'm usually the only one holding down the fort, thinking up topics and writing up sketches.  (Though Patrick Knisely has been doing some lately.  w00t!)  If you're curious about participating, drop me a line.  This page has my list of upcoming topics (next week's topic is "The Bar").

This week's Sketch War topic was "New Music".



               Sketchwar
               New Music Edition
               "Fighting the Good Fight"

               FADE IN:



               EXT. HOTEL - DAY

               Sign out front reads, "RadioChannel Demographic Testing".

                                   CHAD (V.O.)
                         And we'll program new music across
                         the country based on what test
                         groups like you ladies enjoy.



               INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY

               CHAD (20s, artsy but rich) lectures a half-dozen middle-aged
               HOUSEWIVES, including GLADYS.

               The housewives hold small consoles with knobs.

               Chad stands by a laptop connected to a large set of speakers.

                                   CHAD
                         If you like a song, turn the knob
                         to the right.  If you don't, turn
                         it to the left.

                                   GLADYS
                         Can we hear some music now?

                                   CHAD
                         Eager!  I like that!

               He types on the laptop, and a seven-second of music plays --
               standard innocuous top-forty singer-songwriter fare.

                                   SINGER
                         And I'm missing you so much!

               The music cuts out.  Looks of confusion.

                                   GLADYS
                         Is that it?

                                   CHAD
                         RadioChannel cares about instant
                         response, Gladys.  Now, just turn
                         the knobs, ladies.

               They do so.

                                   GLADYS
                         But -- I mean, lyrically I can't
                         really tell where she's going with 
                         -

                                   CHAD
                         It doesn't matter.

                                   GLADYS
                         I mean, it could be she misses her
                         dog, or her husband, or maybe some
                         elf on a quest to --

                                   CHAD
                         It's not an elf.  Just rate the
                         song, as you heard it.

               More knob-twiddling.

                                   GLADYS
                         And harmonically, is it really
                         going to keep cycling through that
                         I:IV:V major progression through
                         the whole -- 

                                   CHAD
                         Gladys, if you don't like the song,
                         then --

                                   GLADYS
                         And will it always be 4:4?  I mean,
                         maybe there's a bridge in some
                         complex meter, or --

                                   CHAD
                         I don't even think you're using
                         real words, Gladys.

                                   HOUSEWIFE #1
                         Gladys has a point.  There might be
                         more to the song than what we just
                         heard --

                                   CHAD
                         That might be, but I just have a
                         seven-second clip.

                                   HOUSEWIFE #2
                         Could we hear it again, at least?

                                   ALL HOUSEWIVES
                         Yes!  Let's listen again!  (etc.)

                                   CHAD
                         Fine!

               He types on the laptop again.

                                   SINGER
                         And I'm missing you so much!

                                   GLADYS
                         The orchestration really needs an
                         old-school Moog.

               Chad walks over to Gladys and starts leading her out of the
               room.

                                   GLADYS
                         What?  It would add texture!

                                   CHAD
                         Gladys, I don't think you're a good
                         match for the data-gathering we
                         want.

                                   GLADYS
                         But I am!

                                   CHAD
                         We'll pay you what we said we
                         would, and you can just go home
                         right now, and --

                                   GLADYS
                         I want to contribute!

                                   CHAD
                         We'll pay you double.

                                   GLADYS
                         Let me stay!

               Two beefy SECURITY GUYS show up.

                                   SECURITY GUY #1
                         Is there a problem?



               INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY

               Establishing shot of a nice little house in the suburbs.

                                   GLADYS (O.S.)
                         I'm sorry guys.



               INT. KITCHEN - DAY

               Gladys stands in a fairly nice kitchen.

               She speaks to the front cover of a CD of Moving Pictures by
               Rush.

                                   GLADYS
                         I tried fighting the good fight for
                         progressive rock.

               She puts in the CD, hits play, and dims the lights.

               "Tom Sawyer" starts playing as she mixes herself a drink.

               Her DAUGHTER walks up to the kitchen door, sees her mother
               rocking out to the tune, rolls her eyes, and exits.

                                                         FADE TO BLACK.



(I've cross-posted this to the Sketchwar site.)

Tags: , ,
Mood: [mood icon] amused · Music: none
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Comments:

From:(Anonymous)
Date:Tuesday (12/7/10) 1:57pm
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I really like this sketch Peter! Sorry, I didn't get one in the past couple weeks, I've been traveling, then last minute preparations for my art show and now I'm sick! But I'm going to try and do this weeks. -- P.K.
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From:hujhax
Date:Tuesday (12/7/10) 1:58pm
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Thanks Patrick! -- and yeah, I figured you were getting squished by the art show.  SEE YOU IN THE FIELD OF BATTLE!
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