These days, though, I'm usually the only one holding down the fort, thinking up topics and writing up sketches. (Though Patrick Knisely has been doing some lately. w00t!) If you're curious about participating, drop me a line. This page has my list of upcoming topics (next week's topic is "The Bar").
This week's Sketch War topic was "New Music".
Sketchwar New Music Edition "Fighting the Good Fight" FADE IN: EXT. HOTEL - DAY Sign out front reads, "RadioChannel Demographic Testing". CHAD (V.O.) And we'll program new music across the country based on what test groups like you ladies enjoy. INT. CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY CHAD (20s, artsy but rich) lectures a half-dozen middle-aged HOUSEWIVES, including GLADYS. The housewives hold small consoles with knobs. Chad stands by a laptop connected to a large set of speakers. CHAD If you like a song, turn the knob to the right. If you don't, turn it to the left. GLADYS Can we hear some music now? CHAD Eager! I like that! He types on the laptop, and a seven-second of music plays -- standard innocuous top-forty singer-songwriter fare. SINGER And I'm missing you so much! The music cuts out. Looks of confusion. GLADYS Is that it? CHAD RadioChannel cares about instant response, Gladys. Now, just turn the knobs, ladies. They do so. GLADYS But -- I mean, lyrically I can't really tell where she's going with - CHAD It doesn't matter. GLADYS I mean, it could be she misses her dog, or her husband, or maybe some elf on a quest to -- CHAD It's not an elf. Just rate the song, as you heard it. More knob-twiddling. GLADYS And harmonically, is it really going to keep cycling through that I:IV:V major progression through the whole -- CHAD Gladys, if you don't like the song, then -- GLADYS And will it always be 4:4? I mean, maybe there's a bridge in some complex meter, or -- CHAD I don't even think you're using real words, Gladys. HOUSEWIFE #1 Gladys has a point. There might be more to the song than what we just heard -- CHAD That might be, but I just have a seven-second clip. HOUSEWIFE #2 Could we hear it again, at least? ALL HOUSEWIVES Yes! Let's listen again! (etc.) CHAD Fine! He types on the laptop again. SINGER And I'm missing you so much! GLADYS The orchestration really needs an old-school Moog. Chad walks over to Gladys and starts leading her out of the room. GLADYS What? It would add texture! CHAD Gladys, I don't think you're a good match for the data-gathering we want. GLADYS But I am! CHAD We'll pay you what we said we would, and you can just go home right now, and -- GLADYS I want to contribute! CHAD We'll pay you double. GLADYS Let me stay! Two beefy SECURITY GUYS show up. SECURITY GUY #1 Is there a problem? INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE - DAY Establishing shot of a nice little house in the suburbs. GLADYS (O.S.) I'm sorry guys. INT. KITCHEN - DAY Gladys stands in a fairly nice kitchen. She speaks to the front cover of a CD of Moving Pictures by Rush. GLADYS I tried fighting the good fight for progressive rock. She puts in the CD, hits play, and dims the lights. "Tom Sawyer" starts playing as she mixes herself a drink. Her DAUGHTER walks up to the kitchen door, sees her mother rocking out to the tune, rolls her eyes, and exits. FADE TO BLACK.
(I've cross-posted this to the Sketchwar site.)