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Peter Rogers's Blog
Artist-in-Residence at Chez Firth

Thursday (9/22/11) 12:34pm - ... wherein Spanish only includes that ugly photo to weed out the chaff.

This week's situation:  "You are brazenly lying on your online-dating profile."

While I am the scourge of the Spanish Main, I have never actually been convicted of piracy.

Mientras que yo soy el azote de la costa del Caribe, que nunca han sido declarados culpables de piratería.

Most of my friends are unable to describe me in words, and instead have to resort to 80s-style rock ballads with bitchin' guitar solos.

La mayoría de mis amigos no me pueden describir con palabras, y en lugar de tener que recurrir a las baladas de rock al estilo de los ochenta con los solos impresionantes de guitarra.

Oh, I *can* fix your computer.  It will work perfectly, and have a pleasing lavender scent.

Ay, *puedo* arreglar su ordenador.  Que funcione a la perfección, y tiene un agradable aroma de lavanda.

I ghost-wrote all the early "Smoov B" columns for the Onion, unaware that I was writing comedy.

Escribí anónimamente todas las primeras columnas por «Liso B» en la Cebolla, sin saber que yo estaba escribiendo la comedia.

I am attractive on a level that simply can't be contained in one of your how-you-say "photos".

Estoy en un nivel atractivo que simplemente no puede ser contenida en una de sus cómo-lo-dice «fotos».

I was rejected by SEAL Team 6 for being "too badass".

Me fue rechazada por SEAL Team 6 por ser «demasiado rudo».

Yet still, I find time to save puppies from the city's feral crocodiles.

Sin embargo, aun así, encontrar el tiempo para salvar a los cachorros de cocodrilos salvajes de la ciudad.

You only think you know what being with a hot LARPer is like.

Sólo piensa que sabe lo que significa ser con un LARPador caliente.

Note:  As always, these 'translations' are just Google Translate output, so corrections are totally welcome.

Also, click this link for an entire web site of Spanish situations!

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Mood: [mood icon] amused · Music: none
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Date:Sunday (9/25/11) 2:04am
I...I kind of want to redo my entire OKCupid profile now. You are amazing.

I am attractive on a level that simply can't be contained in one of your how-you-say "photos".

I got a message the other day from a guy saying, "i dont mean to be shallow, but where r all ur other pics?" The answer being, of course, that they are in the Land of I Don't Like Having Photos Of Me PostedOn The Internet And I Could Barely Bring Myself To Upload This One, So Deal With It, Dude. But I think I like your answer much more.
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Date:Sunday (9/25/11) 2:25pm

(Also note that there are new entries here and here.)

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